The little green snake...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Fri, 16 Aug 1996 11:47:26 +0100


Hiya All...

How much trouble can a little green snake cause...???

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
     
     
                     THE LITTLE GREEN SNAKE
                    
There once was a man in the hospital.  He explained how he got there. 

He had a wood pile out back of his house.  Winter was approaching.  A
Little Green Snake had curled up in the hollow of a piece of wood and
had gone to sleep.  Each winter night the man would bring inside extra
pieces of wood for the heating stove.  He finally picked the piece that
had the Little Green Snake sleeping inside it.
     
When the snake warmed up, it came slithering out of the wood and went
under the sofa.  The man's wife saw the snake and let out a loud scream.
He happened to be taking a bath at the time, but out he leaped and ran
naked to see what his wife was screaming about.  His wife told him there
was a snake under the sofa.  So he got down on his hands and knees to
look for it.  Here comes the dog and cold-nosed him.  The man thought it
was the snake, and fainted.  His wife thought he had had a heart attack
and called an ambulance.  The attendants rushed in and loaded the naked
man onto a stretcher and started carrying him out.
     
The Little Green Snake came slithering from under the sofa.  When the
ambulance men saw it, they dropped the stretcher.  The fall broke the
man's leg.  That's why he was in the hospital.
     
With her husband in the hospital and snake under the sofa, the wife went
next door to enlist aid from the neighbour with a reputation for being
an outdoorsman.  His wife happened to be at the grocery store, but he
volunteered to corral the snake.  Armed with a roll of newspaper, he
took a few swishes under the sofa and declared that the snake had
vacated the premises.
     
"Thank goodness," said the woman, plopping down on the sofa.  As her
hand rested between the cushions, it brushed scaly skin, which she
immediately realized was the snake.  Screaming, she fainted on the sofa.
The Little Green Snake slithered quickly back under the sofa.
     
The outdoorsman knew mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, so he pushed the
woman's head back into the proper position.  Just as he started the
first breath, his wife, having returned from the store and hearing the
woman scream, ran in still carrying a sackful of canned goods.  Seeing
her husband with his mouth on the neighbor woman's mouth, and she on the
sofa, he received a heavy sack of cans across the top of the head.
     
The clatter of falling cans brought the fainted woman up with a start.
When she saw the outdoorsman lying on the floor with his wife bending
over him, she was sure he was snake bitten.  She ran to the kitchen for
a bottle of whiskey which she started to pour down the poor fellow's
throat.  His wife, wrestling the bottle away from the woman, sloshed
liquid on both of them.  

About that time, two policemen rushed in summoned by another neighbour.
After sniffing the whiskey aroma, the officers listened to the two
crying women explain about the snake, canned goods, and broken leg.  The
policemen left with the ambulance that took the still unconscious
husband and his wife to the hospital, leaving the Little Green Snake
hidden far under the sofa.
     
MORAL:  Potiphar assumed Joseph was guilty when his wife accused him
(Gen 39:7).  Joseph assumed his wife was an adulteress when found
pregnant with the Son of God (Mat 1:18).  Eve assumed God didn't know
what He was taking about when He said going against His rules means
death (Gen 2:17).  
Remember: Things may not always be as they appear or you hear.  It is
better not to go through life collecting assumptions.