The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 16 Aug 1996 11:47:26 +0100
Hiya All... How much trouble can a little green snake cause...??? Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ *****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- THE LITTLE GREEN SNAKE There once was a man in the hospital. He explained how he got there. He had a wood pile out back of his house. Winter was approaching. A Little Green Snake had curled up in the hollow of a piece of wood and had gone to sleep. Each winter night the man would bring inside extra pieces of wood for the heating stove. He finally picked the piece that had the Little Green Snake sleeping inside it. When the snake warmed up, it came slithering out of the wood and went under the sofa. The man's wife saw the snake and let out a loud scream. He happened to be taking a bath at the time, but out he leaped and ran naked to see what his wife was screaming about. His wife told him there was a snake under the sofa. So he got down on his hands and knees to look for it. Here comes the dog and cold-nosed him. The man thought it was the snake, and fainted. His wife thought he had had a heart attack and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded the naked man onto a stretcher and started carrying him out. The Little Green Snake came slithering from under the sofa. When the ambulance men saw it, they dropped the stretcher. The fall broke the man's leg. That's why he was in the hospital. With her husband in the hospital and snake under the sofa, the wife went next door to enlist aid from the neighbour with a reputation for being an outdoorsman. His wife happened to be at the grocery store, but he volunteered to corral the snake. Armed with a roll of newspaper, he took a few swishes under the sofa and declared that the snake had vacated the premises. "Thank goodness," said the woman, plopping down on the sofa. As her hand rested between the cushions, it brushed scaly skin, which she immediately realized was the snake. Screaming, she fainted on the sofa. The Little Green Snake slithered quickly back under the sofa. The outdoorsman knew mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, so he pushed the woman's head back into the proper position. Just as he started the first breath, his wife, having returned from the store and hearing the woman scream, ran in still carrying a sackful of canned goods. Seeing her husband with his mouth on the neighbor woman's mouth, and she on the sofa, he received a heavy sack of cans across the top of the head. The clatter of falling cans brought the fainted woman up with a start. When she saw the outdoorsman lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, she was sure he was snake bitten. She ran to the kitchen for a bottle of whiskey which she started to pour down the poor fellow's throat. His wife, wrestling the bottle away from the woman, sloshed liquid on both of them. About that time, two policemen rushed in summoned by another neighbour. After sniffing the whiskey aroma, the officers listened to the two crying women explain about the snake, canned goods, and broken leg. The policemen left with the ambulance that took the still unconscious husband and his wife to the hospital, leaving the Little Green Snake hidden far under the sofa. MORAL: Potiphar assumed Joseph was guilty when his wife accused him (Gen 39:7). Joseph assumed his wife was an adulteress when found pregnant with the Son of God (Mat 1:18). Eve assumed God didn't know what He was taking about when He said going against His rules means death (Gen 2:17). Remember: Things may not always be as they appear or you hear. It is better not to go through life collecting assumptions.