The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 9 Aug 1996 02:23:33 +0100
Hiya All...
Have you ever wondered if you've made an idiot of yourself in a job
interview...???...well these folks have...thanks to Alan for sending
it...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
MEMORABLE INTERVIEWS
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest
corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience
interviewing prospective employees:
* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the
interviewer and the music at the same time.
* Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a
hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
* Candidate explained that her long-term goal was to replace the
interviewer.
* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped
and kept in a closet in Mexico.
* Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few
minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
* Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by
having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on
how to answer specific interview questions.
* Candidate brought large dog to interview.
* Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed
standing up.
* Candidate dozed off during interview.
The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that
have been asked by job candidates:
* "What is it that you people do at this company?"
* "What is the company motto?"
* "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
* "What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
* "Why do you want references?"
* "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
* "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
* "Will the company move my rock collection from California to
Maryland?"
* "Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
* "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
* "Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
* "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
* "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
* "Why am I here?"
Also included are a number of unusual statements made by candidates
during the interview process:
* I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
* At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
* I feel uneasy indoors.
* Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
* Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
* I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
* I get excited very easily.
* Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.
* I am fascinated by fire.
* I like tall women.
* Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex.
* People are always watching me.
* If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
* Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct.
* I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
* I never get hungry.
* I know who is responsible for most of my troubles
* If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
* I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
* My legs are really hairy.