The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Thu, 27 Jun 1996 09:54:27 +0100
Hiya Folks...
Here are some greeting cards messages that we are unlikely to see on
sale anytime soon...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
GREETING CARDS YOU'RE UNLIKELY TO SEE FROM HALLMARK:
1. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I got one
I got real snippy.
2. I heard you had herpes
And I feel terrible
I'd say "Get well soon"
But I know it's incurable.
3. My tire was thumping
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire
I found your cat... Sorry!
4. You had your bladder removed,
And you're on the mends!
Here's a bouquet of flowers
And a box of Depends.
5. You've announced that you're gay,
And won't that be a laugh,
When they find out you're one
Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
6. So your daughter's a hooker
And it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side,
She's a really good lay.
7. Heard your wife left you
How upset you must be
Don't fret about your wife though
She's moving in with me.
8. Your computer is dead
And it was so alive
You shouldn't have installed
Win'95.
9. You totalled your car
And can't remember why
Maybe it was
That case of Bud Dry
10. So you lost your job
It's one of those hardships in life
Next time, work harder
And stay away from the boss's wife.