The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 22 Mar 1996 20:43:34 +0000
Hiya all...
Well, things are now getting complicated...it would appear that the
Alchemists are fighting back against the recent influx of computer
humour - I can only advise everyone from the Humanities to run for
cover...before the Physicists get into the act...:-)
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
ps...Thanks to Len for sending this one and thanks to Pete for
ungarbling it for me...:-)
--
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
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**********************ANDROMEDA**********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
THE NIGHT TO MAKE CRYSTALS.
John F. Hanse, from the 'The chemical bond', St.Louis section ACS. Dec. 1978.
'Twas the night to make crystals, and all through the hood,
Compounds were reacting; I'd hoped they would.
The hood door I'd closed with the greatest of care,
To keep noxious vapours from fouling the air,
The reflux condensor was hooked to the tap,
And the high vacuum pump had a freshly filled trap.
I patiently waited to finish my task.
While boiling chips merrily danced in the flask.
Then from the pump there arose such a clatter
That I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the fume hood! Up with the door!
And half of my product foamed on the floor.
Then what to my watering eyes should appear,
But a viscous black oil which had once been so clear.
I turned the pump off in a terrible rush,
And the oil that sucked back filled the line up with mush.
The ether boiled out of the flask with a splash,
And hitting the mantle went off with a flash.
My nose turned quite ruddy, my eyebrows went bare,
The blast had singed off nearly half my hair.
I shut the hood door with a violent wrench,
As acid ate holes in the floor of the bench.
I flushed it with water, and to my dismay,
Found sodium hydride had spilled in the fray.
And then e'er the fire got way out of hand,
I managed to quench it with buckets of sand.
With aqueous base I diluted the crud,
Then shovelled up seven buckets of mud.
I extracted the slurry again and again
With ether and then with dichloromethane.
Chromatographic techniques were applied
Several times 'till the product had been purified.
I finally viewed with a satisfied smile,
One half a gram in a shiny new vial.
I mailed the yield report to my boss,
Ninety percent (allowing for loss).
'Good work,' said the boss in the answering mail,
'Use same conditions on preparative scale.'
THE NIGHT TO MAKE CRYSTALS.
John F. Hanse, from the 'The chemical bond', St.Louis section ACS. Dec. 1978.
Trevor Hartley