Andrea J Chee
(
ajc6@ukc.ac.uk
)
Thu, 7 Mar 1996 20:14:25 +0000 (GMT)
Hiya folks... I forward the following, with apologies to those of you whose chemistry is a little rusty...don't panic - you'll get the idea...:-) Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA ps. Thanks Len... ********************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************** ******************************************************** *** *** *** The world is full of Kings and Queens... *** *** Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams... *** *** ...It's Heaven and Hell... *** *** *** ******************************************************** ******************************************************** ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Thu, 7 Mar 1996 11:18:14 +0000 (GMT) From: Lenard.Bell <hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk> To: andrea chee <ajc6@ukc.ac.uk> Subject: administration (fwd) I thought you might like this little scientific discovery to have a wider airing. All the best, LEN ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 15:32:45 +0000 (GMT) From: D.TAYLOR <hs0dta@orac.sunderland.ac.uk> To: hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk Subject: administration (fwd) ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 14:57:40 +0000 (GMT) From: D.TAYLOR <hs0dta@orac.sunderland.ac.uk> To: hs0sma@orac.sunderland.ac.uk Subject: administration NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. It does, however, have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of extremely dense sub-atomic particles known as documentat-ions. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert, however, it can be detected chemically as it impedes any reaction it comes into contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute quantity of Administratium caused one reaction which normally occurs in seconds to take over four days to complete. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, after which it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Early indications are that the atomic mass may actually increase after each reorganisation. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere and appears to accumulate at specific locations, such as government agencies, large businesses and especially universities. Scientists point out that Administratium is toxic at any concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it accumulates. Attempts are being made to discover a control mechanism for it but results are not promising. Hopes that Administratium could be neutralised by a highly unstable compound known as MBO, or by the extremely tortuous 'Privatisation' process have so far proved unfounded.