The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com)
Mon, 27 Oct 03 08:35:45 -0000
Hiya Folks...
Now it's time for lawyers to lay down the letter of the law on light
bulbs...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com
*******
Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
THE LETTER OF THE LAW ON LIGHTBULBS AND LAWYERS
-----------------------------------------------
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and
forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of
failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e., the lighting,
elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the
front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just
inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the
carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of
the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned
agreement between the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited
to, the following steps:
1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any
other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-
clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.
2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"),
the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing
of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with
all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the
first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of
the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall
occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures
described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note
that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also
being non-negotiable.
Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the
party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by
him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the
party of the fifth part, also known as the "Partnership."
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