World According to...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com)
Sat, 19 Apr 03 00:53:23 -2300


Hiya Folks...

Now it's time to discover what Andy Rooney makes of the world...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

 
The World According to Andy Rooney
----------------------------------
 
On advertising in bills:
 
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills
now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail
in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check
when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you
throw this away for me? Thank You."
 
On Grandma:

My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior
Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you?
Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that
dollar she gave you for your birthday.
 
On Prisons:

Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each
prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few
prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on
the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to
criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a
treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they
can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
 
On Award Shows:

Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for
commercials. The Cleo Awards, a whole show full of commercials. I taped
it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.


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