Answering Machine Messages...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 11 Dec 02 00:51:01 -0000


Hiya People...

It's been a long, long time since we last had answering machine
messages, but finally here are some worth considering...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

******* THE LOONY BIN **** loonies@bloodaxe.com *******

         Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/

*********** ANDROMEDA **** Internet Goddess ***********

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

 
Funny Answering Machine Messages
--------------------------------
 
"Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? - Captain, there
is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it
on screen?" (silence...beep)
  
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This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for
calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about
returning your call.
  
-------------
  
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid
talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help
me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
  
-------------
  
Andy Warhol said that one day everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.
Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't ready, we
gave it to Vanna White. Sorry.
  
-------------
  
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a
channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast
into the future...
  
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I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement
printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money,
or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name,
number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the
Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
  
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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now,
so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly
about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the
following words:  orange... mother... unicorn... computer. I'll get back
to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
  
-------------
  
Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak. This
is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72...
  
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This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast
System. This is only a test.
  

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