Musical Terms...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Fri, 03 May 02 01:59:30 +0100


Hiya People...

Here are some musical terms for the musicians amongst you...these were
sent in by Susan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********

         Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/

************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


Adagio formaggio: To play in a slow, cheesy manner.

Al dente con tableau: In opera, chew the scenery.

AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow.

Angus Dei: A divine, beefy tone.

Antiphonal: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert
hall.

A patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping.

Appologgiatura: An ornament one regrets having played.

Approximatura: A series of performed notes not intended by the composer,
especially when delivered with an air of "I meant to do that."

Approximento: An entrance that is close to the required pitch.

Bar line: What musicians form after a concert.

Basso continuo: Game fishing after the season has ended.

Basso profundo: An opera about deep-sea fishing.

Brake drum: An instrument used to slow the tempo in an orchestra.

Concerto grosso: A really bad performance.

Coral Symphony: (see: Beethoven - Caribbean period).

Cornetti trombosis: Disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that
occurs when musicians exit a stage carelessly.

D.C. al capone: You betta go backa. Capiche?

Dill piccolo: A wind instrument that plays mostly sour notes.

Diminuendo: The process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit.

Eardrum: A teeny, tiny tympani.

Fermantra: A note that is held over and over and over...

Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.

Fiddler crabs: Grumpy string players.

Flute flies: Gnat-like bugs that bother musicians who play out-of-doors.

Fog horn: A brass instrument that plays when the conductor's intentions
are not clear.

Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.

Gaul blatter: A French horn player.

Good conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance.

Gregorian champ: The monk who can hold a note the longest.

Herbert von Carryon: A conductor who travels light.

Kvetchendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder.

Mallade: A sickeningly romantic song.

Molto bolto: Head straight for the ending, without making it seem
rushed.

Opera buffa: Musical stage production at a nudist camp.

Pipe smoker: An extremely virtuosic(k) organist.

Poochini: When singing, to be accompanied by your dog.

Pre-Classical Conservatism: A school of thought based on the tenet: "If
it ain't baroque, don't fix it".

Prelude: (Pray lewd?) A cue, found in earlier oratorios, instructing
those singing the roles of the wicked to pray in an offensive or profane
manner.

The Rights of Strings: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Bowed Instruments.

Spinet: Politician's order.

Spritzicato: Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright,
bubbly sound, often accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine
optional).

Status cymbal: An instrument to be played at inaugurations and socialite
balls.

Tempo tantrum: What a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping
time with the conductor.

Timpani Alley: A row of kettledrums.

Tincanabulation: The annoying or irritating sounds made by unmusical
persons using cheap bells.

Vesuvioso: A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.


Please include this information if you forward this joke:
 *******************************************************
     This joke and others like it, can be found in:
                     The Loony Bin
             http://www.theloonies.co.uk/
 *******************************************************
 To UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE email: loonies@bloodaxe.com
          Subject: 'unsubscribe' or 'subscribe'