The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 03 May 02 01:59:30 +0100
Hiya People...
Here are some musical terms for the musicians amongst you...these were
sent in by Susan...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Adagio formaggio: To play in a slow, cheesy manner.
Al dente con tableau: In opera, chew the scenery.
AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow.
Angus Dei: A divine, beefy tone.
Antiphonal: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert
hall.
A patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping.
Appologgiatura: An ornament one regrets having played.
Approximatura: A series of performed notes not intended by the composer,
especially when delivered with an air of "I meant to do that."
Approximento: An entrance that is close to the required pitch.
Bar line: What musicians form after a concert.
Basso continuo: Game fishing after the season has ended.
Basso profundo: An opera about deep-sea fishing.
Brake drum: An instrument used to slow the tempo in an orchestra.
Concerto grosso: A really bad performance.
Coral Symphony: (see: Beethoven - Caribbean period).
Cornetti trombosis: Disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that
occurs when musicians exit a stage carelessly.
D.C. al capone: You betta go backa. Capiche?
Dill piccolo: A wind instrument that plays mostly sour notes.
Diminuendo: The process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit.
Eardrum: A teeny, tiny tympani.
Fermantra: A note that is held over and over and over...
Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.
Fiddler crabs: Grumpy string players.
Flute flies: Gnat-like bugs that bother musicians who play out-of-doors.
Fog horn: A brass instrument that plays when the conductor's intentions
are not clear.
Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.
Gaul blatter: A French horn player.
Good conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance.
Gregorian champ: The monk who can hold a note the longest.
Herbert von Carryon: A conductor who travels light.
Kvetchendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder.
Mallade: A sickeningly romantic song.
Molto bolto: Head straight for the ending, without making it seem
rushed.
Opera buffa: Musical stage production at a nudist camp.
Pipe smoker: An extremely virtuosic(k) organist.
Poochini: When singing, to be accompanied by your dog.
Pre-Classical Conservatism: A school of thought based on the tenet: "If
it ain't baroque, don't fix it".
Prelude: (Pray lewd?) A cue, found in earlier oratorios, instructing
those singing the roles of the wicked to pray in an offensive or profane
manner.
The Rights of Strings: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Bowed Instruments.
Spinet: Politician's order.
Spritzicato: Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright,
bubbly sound, often accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine
optional).
Status cymbal: An instrument to be played at inaugurations and socialite
balls.
Tempo tantrum: What a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping
time with the conductor.
Timpani Alley: A row of kettledrums.
Tincanabulation: The annoying or irritating sounds made by unmusical
persons using cheap bells.
Vesuvioso: A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.
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