The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 03 May 02 01:59:30 +0100
Hiya People... Here are some musical terms for the musicians amongst you...these were sent in by Susan... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/ ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Adagio formaggio: To play in a slow, cheesy manner. Al dente con tableau: In opera, chew the scenery. AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow. Angus Dei: A divine, beefy tone. Antiphonal: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall. A patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping. Appologgiatura: An ornament one regrets having played. Approximatura: A series of performed notes not intended by the composer, especially when delivered with an air of "I meant to do that." Approximento: An entrance that is close to the required pitch. Bar line: What musicians form after a concert. Basso continuo: Game fishing after the season has ended. Basso profundo: An opera about deep-sea fishing. Brake drum: An instrument used to slow the tempo in an orchestra. Concerto grosso: A really bad performance. Coral Symphony: (see: Beethoven - Caribbean period). Cornetti trombosis: Disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that occurs when musicians exit a stage carelessly. D.C. al capone: You betta go backa. Capiche? Dill piccolo: A wind instrument that plays mostly sour notes. Diminuendo: The process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit. Eardrum: A teeny, tiny tympani. Fermantra: A note that is held over and over and over... Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value. Fiddler crabs: Grumpy string players. Flute flies: Gnat-like bugs that bother musicians who play out-of-doors. Fog horn: A brass instrument that plays when the conductor's intentions are not clear. Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument. Gaul blatter: A French horn player. Good conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance. Gregorian champ: The monk who can hold a note the longest. Herbert von Carryon: A conductor who travels light. Kvetchendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder. Mallade: A sickeningly romantic song. Molto bolto: Head straight for the ending, without making it seem rushed. Opera buffa: Musical stage production at a nudist camp. Pipe smoker: An extremely virtuosic(k) organist. Poochini: When singing, to be accompanied by your dog. Pre-Classical Conservatism: A school of thought based on the tenet: "If it ain't baroque, don't fix it". Prelude: (Pray lewd?) A cue, found in earlier oratorios, instructing those singing the roles of the wicked to pray in an offensive or profane manner. The Rights of Strings: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Bowed Instruments. Spinet: Politician's order. Spritzicato: Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, often accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional). Status cymbal: An instrument to be played at inaugurations and socialite balls. Tempo tantrum: What a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping time with the conductor. Timpani Alley: A row of kettledrums. Tincanabulation: The annoying or irritating sounds made by unmusical persons using cheap bells. Vesuvioso: A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ******************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://www.theloonies.co.uk/ ******************************************************* To UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE email: loonies@bloodaxe.com Subject: 'unsubscribe' or 'subscribe'