The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 14 Sep 01 04:33:57 +0100
Greetings Loonies...
We resume the joking, but we haven't forgotten the scale of this
tragedy. We're sending our jokes to help in the healing process, and
because returning to normal is the best way to show the terrorists that
they haven't won.
I include a message from one of the Loonies:
From myself and all in the UK, we commiserate with our friends in the
USA at this time, what has happened is incomprehensible to the World.
It brings a big lump to the throat when you see pictures of such
devastation and anguish. There will be amazing stories of courage and
survival come out of this, but let us not forget those people who did
not stand a chance, those on the 4 aeroplanes, and our heartfelt
prayers go out to them and their families.
To all those that died RIP ... you will not be forgotten
JON R
I'm sure Jon speaks for all of us...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
These sentences apparently actually appeared in church bulletins or were
announced in church services:
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at
Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch
all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
includes meals."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husbands."
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring
your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun
time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a
conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water".
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green
beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person(s) you want remembered.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment,
and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00pm - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
morning.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the
back door.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7pm. The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Mrs Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*******************************************************
This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*******************************************************
To UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE email: loonies@bloodaxe.com
Subject: 'unsubscribe' or 'subscribe'
Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive!
http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com