Cynical Wisdom...

The Loony Bin ( )
Tue, 17 Jul 2001 23:26:05 +0100

The Loony Bin -

Hiya All...

Here are some things worth knowing, if you haven't already learned

Wishes & Dreams...


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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


I've learned-

that you cannot make someone love you. But you can make them pay.

that no matter how much I care, some people just won't stay the night.

that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to capitalize on

that it's not what you have in your life that counts but what you have
in the bank.

that you can only get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, but it
rarely takes much longer than that to get what you want.

that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. A false
sense of self esteem is better than none at all.

that you can do something in an instant that will give you herpes for

that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be, but
somebody else was born being him.

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, they may be
revising their will.

that you can keep going long after you can't, and if you can't, they'll
find somebody else who can.

that we are responsible for what we do, but you can usually lie your way
out of it.

that either you control your attitude, or somebody bigger is going to
kick your ass.

that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is, a man will
still sneak a look at the blonde with the cleavage.

that heroes are the people who make the best impression on the reporter.

that money is a lousy way of keeping score, if you're losing.

that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best
time, as long as we're adequately supplied with appropriate

that the people you expect to kick you when you're down will always aim
for the head, assuming your more vulnerable parts are protected.

that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that
doesn't give me the right to piss in the punchbowl.

that true friendship and love continue to grow, even over the longest
distance, as long as somebody else is paying the phone bill.

that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean you can't teach them better technique.

that maturity has less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated
and more to do with what types of experiences you've had and escaped
punishment for.

that your family won't always be there for you. You're bound to outlive
some of them.

that families aren't biological. But DNA tests are still a valid means
of determining paternity.

that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every
once in a while, so don't lend them money.

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have
to get the charges dropped.

that no matter how bad your heart is broken, a man will still want sex.

that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but having a dysfunctional family doesn't entitle you to become a serial

that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each
other, unless they do it in front of a divorce lawyer.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. One of them
may be deaf.

that we don't have to change friends if we change our underwear.

that you shouldn't be too eager to find out a secret, unless you work
for a tabloid.

that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something
totally different, as long as one of them is a man and the other is a

that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will
eventually get hurt and somebody will blame you for it.

that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't
even know you, try to remember what they look like so you can tell the

that even when you think you have no more to give, you can always find
some other sucker to help.

that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being, but
they allow you to charge a lot more for being a bastard.

that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon,
and the ones you hate will be around forever.

- William John Watkins

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