The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 19 Jun 2001 15:30:42 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
This one's from John...we saw some of them before in the 90s, but there
are plenty of new ones...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
LIVING IN THE 00s
You know you're living in the 00s when:
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not
have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone
in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to
get an outside line.
8. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
9. Even though you've sat at the same desk for 4 years you have worked
for 3 different companies.
10. Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.
11. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your
best jokes.
13. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get
long-service awards.
15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries
annual budgets combined.
16. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or
experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
18. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all
the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours
boots up.
19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your
department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time
management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with
computers".
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...
22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your
"friends"
24. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list
already, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.
25. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore,
except to send you jokes from the net.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
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