Dog Definitions...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 24 May 2001 22:13:08 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

Dogs have their own way of looking at the world...let's see things from
their point of view...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


LEAD...
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person
where you want them to go.

DOG BED...
Any soft, clean surface ie: the white bedspread on the guest bed, or the
newly upholstered couch in the living room.

SNIFF...
A social custom used to greet other dogs... Place your nose as close as
you can to other dog's rear end, and inhale deeply. Repeat several
times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to
human crotches.

GARBAGE BIN...
A container which your neighbour puts out once weekly to test your
ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with
your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with marge wrappers to
shred, beef bones to consume, and mouldy crusts of bread.

DEAFNESS...
A malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in... and they
want to stay out...
Symptoms include staring blankly at the person - running in the opposite
direction, and lying down.

THUNDER...
A signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly
calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
dangers by trembling uncontrollably, panting. etc.

WASTEBASKET...
A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old sweet papers. When you
get bored, turn over the basket, and strew the papers all over the house
until your person comes home.

SOFAS...
Are to dogs as napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run
up and down the front of the sofa to wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH ...
A process by which humans drench floor, walls, and themselves. You can
assist by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LOVE...
A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.
The best way to show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a
human will love you in return... If not, you can always sniff their
crotches!!!


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