The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 19 May 2001 02:17:41 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya All... We all know that the role of the armed forces has changed over the years...here are some examples of just how great the change is... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- HOW THE MILITARY HAS CHANGED OVER THE YEARS... 1945 - NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports. 1999 - Everyone has an internet access computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done. 1945 - we painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home. 1999 - they put the real thing in the cockpit. 1945 - your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive. 1999 - she is in the same trench praying your condom worked. 1945 - if you got drunk off duty your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off. 1999 - if you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career. 1945 - you were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him. 1999 - you spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you're out of ammo. 1945 - canteens were made of steel, and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them. 1999 - canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat anything in them, and they always taste like plastic. 1945 - officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded respect. 1999 - officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie. 1945 - they collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it. 1999 - they collect your pee and analyze it. 1945 - if you didn't act right, the Sergeant Major put you in the brig until you straightened up. 1999 - if you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever. 1945 - medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own. 1999 - medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters. 1945 - you slept in barracks like a soldier. 1999 - you sleep in a dormitory like a college kid. 1945 - you ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all the food you wanted. 1999 - you eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pad of butter costs, and you better not take too much. 1945 - we defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan. 1999 - we come up short against Iraq and Yugoslavia. 1945 - if you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool, smoked and drank beer. 1999 - you go to the community center, and you can play pool. 1945 - if you wanted beer and conversation you went to the NCO or Officers' Club. 1999 - the beer will cost you $2.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink. 1945 - the Exchange had bargains for soldiers who didn't make much money. 1999 - you can get better and cheaper merchandise at Walmart. 1945 - we could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets. 1999 - we are wearing the Nazi helmets. 1945 - we called the enemy names like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them. 1999 - we call the enemy the "opposing force" or "aggressor" because we don't want to offend them. 1945 - victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his things were broken. 1999 - victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry. 1945 - a commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people. 1999 - a commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt. 1945 - wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories. 1999 - wars are planned by politicians with lots of equivocating. 1945 - we were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to winning. 1999 - we don't know what we're fighting for, and the government is committed to social programs (used to be called 'socialism'). 1945 - all you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian again. 1999 - all you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian again. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive! http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com