The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 24 Jan 2001 16:15:14 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya Loonies... Here's another list for you to look at: What's Little Johnny doing today? He shares his infinite wisdom with you Monday to Friday on Little Johnny's Joke List featuring Little Johnny jokes, classic jokes, interesting 'finds' and sites for your ADULT entertainment. Email subscribe@littlejohnny.com Subject: AEC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We've looked closely at many aspects of movies before, but this is the first time we've considered those chess scenes... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- CHESS CLICHES IN MOVIES GOOD Chess players are always portrayed as upper class. (Go to any tournament and see how many rich guys there are there. NONE! They're too busy chasing women and driving fast cars to play chess.) Chess players in movies are always all around brilliant and charming people. (With very few exceptions, REAL chess players are introverted and so involved with chess they have little time to WASTE pursuing anything as trivial as LOVE, A PROFESSION, or SOCIAL GRACES. Exception: Computers! Most Chess players are, or will become, Computer nerds). Great Chess players are always honored to play on some rich guy's fancy Philipino Art Set. (In reality, better players are almost always adamant about playing on a plain, unadorned wood or plastic "Staunton" set. No red or blue pieces, no ceramic or metal, no elephants for rooks.) The board is usually set up wrong, with the black square at the players lower right, or with one or both of the King/Queen set up backwards. (WHITE SQUARE GOES ON THE PLAYERS RIGHT. QUEENS on their own color: white QUEEN on white, black QUEEN on black.) Supposedly brilliant players usually miss one move checkmates in critical games. This is akin to a professional race car driver backing his station wagon into the garage door. On the other hand, good players are often portrayed as seeing 15 or 20 moves ahead in detail from a middle game, when there are still many pieces on the board. (One could more easily predict the next president and all 535 congressmen correctly before the election. In the End Game, when the number of pieces is limited, looking ahead often becomes a question of counting moves, who can get to the critical square first, or of very limited numbers of moves, and is more feasible.) Beginners usually beat experienced players, as a mechanism for showing the neophyte's native brilliance. (This is about as common as a tall, athletic man who's never seen a basketball beating an NBA player in one- on-one. It could happen, if the pro had a really bad day, but who would you bet on?) Players who are really behind (have lost more pieces) come up with brilliant ways to win anyway. (If they're so good, how did they get behind in the first place?) Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive! http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com