The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 23 Jan 2001 00:47:24 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here's another list for you to look at:
DO YOU LIKE FUNNY PICTURES?
Get 'em in your e-mail for FREE!
Join our mailing list today and get a
FREE 50 minute phone card!
FunnyWebsite.com
http://www.funnywebsite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are some extracts from students' history exams...brilliant as
always...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
*** ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies who wrote in hydraulics. they
lived in the Sarah dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate was so
hot that the inhabitants lived elsewhere.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures like Adam and Eve in the
book of Guiness, who were created from an apple.
Moses went up Mount Cyanide to get the ten comandments. He led the
Hebrew slaves to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is
bread with no ingredients. He died before reaching Canada.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people who invented history.
However, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Geek who went around philatelising until he was
killed by an overdose of wedlock.
Julius Casar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. Before
being murdered by the ides of Mars he managed to gasp out: "Tee hee,
Brutus"
Joan of Ark was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by George Bernard
Manning.
Napoleon Bonaparte was nasty, brutish and short. He couldn't have any
children because of his wife Josephine's baroness.
Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
fiddle to them.
In midevil times most people were alliterate except Chaucer, the
greatest writer of the futile ages, who wrote poems, books and also
literature.
Queen Elizabeth was called the Virgin Queen because she was as famous as
Richard Branson. When she exposed herself before her troops, they all
shouted "Hurrah!"
Sir Walter raleigh invented cigarettes and started smoking, while Sir
Francis Drake circumsised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
William Shakespeare wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in
Icelandic pentameter. His most famous heroic couplet were Romeo and
Juliet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. After his wife died he wrote Paradise
Regained.
After the American revolution the colonist no longer had to pay British
taxis. Their new constitution also gave them the right to bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln, America's greatest precedent, was born in a log cabin
which he built with his own hands. When he went to the theatre in 1865
he got shot by the actor John Wilkes booth. This ruined Booth's career.
Johann Bach wrote a large number of musicals and had lots of children.
In between he practised on an old spinster which he kept in the attic.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the sun sets in the west
and the British Empire is in the east.
The first world war was caused by the assassination of the archduck by
the antichrist. It ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*********************************************************
This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*********************************************************
Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive!
http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com
______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com