The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 5 Jan 2001 00:49:39 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here are some New Year's Resolutions for dogs...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
1. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
3. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under
the coffee table.
4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
5. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
6. I will not eat the cats' food, before, or after, they eat it.
7. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in
the house when I am about to throw up.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
10. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
11. I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her bottom
end.
12 . I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
people will think that I am hemorrhaging.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it's raining outside.
15. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who
is sitting on the toilet.
16. We do not have a doorbell. Therefore, I will not bark each time I
hear one on the television.
17. I will not steal my Mom's/Dad's underwear and dance all over the
back yard with them.
18. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
19. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
20. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
Mom's/Dad's driver's license and car registration.
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