The Loony Bin
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loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 22 Nov 2000 15:27:29 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya People... Here's another list for you to look at: Come along on a guided tour of the web with Lynn Tour 8-10 new sites a day. Sites to make you feel good and sites to make you learn and sites to send to a loved one and it is free send a blank e-mail to: lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com or visit us at http://www.buffalosjokes.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's amazing what some people can say in the heat of the moment...mostly British, but funny wherever you read them... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- FAMOUS SPORTING QUOTES "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." Ted Walsh (Horse Racing Commentator) "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite" (Murray Walker) "The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense." (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.) On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country." (Ian Rush) "Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." (Peter Lorenzo) "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Winston Bennett) "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker) "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman) "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." (Alan Minter) "The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball." (John Francombe) "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Terry Venables) "We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival." (Noel O'Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich) "I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson) "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." (Ron Atkinson) "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ron Atkinson) "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977) "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." (Metro Radio) Dennis Pennis: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Chris Eubank: "On what ?" Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax after that!" Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that" "To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch." (Ruud Gullit) "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all- yellow strip." (John Motson) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (David Acfield) "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona" (Mark Draper-Aston Villa) "There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." (David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics) ....and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion." (John Arlott) "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them - oh my God, what have I just said?" (US TV commentator) Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID to surf the Web! http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=BFN610