The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 28 Apr 2000 13:37:12 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Loonies...
Here are some of the signs to look for if you want to know whether
you've chosen to invest in a bad internet company...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
The Top 12 Signs You've Invested in a Bad Internet Company
12. CEO stops by to use your computer because his electricity's been
turned off again.
11. Company made solely up of former AARP executives.
10. Merrill Lynch just downgraded the stock from "Sell" to "Tax Write-
Off."
9. Your profits? 404 - Not Found
8. Prospectus states: "YOU MIGHT ALREADY BE A STOCKHOLDER!"
7. Their big idea: eHaircuts
6. Their Lead Programmer is reasonably attractive & has 20/20 vision.
5. IPO consists of 12 shares and a free CD and is underwritten by MC
Hammer.
4. At shareholder meeting you're asked to wear a mouse pad as a name
tag.
3. In "Pirates of Silicon Valley", company CEO was played by that
"Ernest" guy.
2. Their price-to-earnings ratio is higher than Marion Barry in a DEA
evidence room.
1. Good: Team of young, enthusiastic go-getters;
Bad: IPO's financial goal was $57.45 to "repay Tommy's mom".
Re-posted from: [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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