The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 2 Feb 2000 22:13:21 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya People... Here's another list for you to look at: Touch someone's heart, express your deepest thoughts or simply share an emotion Prose'n'Poems is a wonderful list of the finest thoughts and poetry Plus a positive Thought for the day Send a blank email/ no subject to prosenpoems-subscribe@listbot.com Check out our site! http://www.jokesnstuff.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here are some signs that you might want to find yourself a new lawyer... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- You Need A New Lawyer When... 1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. 2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser." 3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. 4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." 5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy. 6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger." 7. A prison guard is shaving your head. 8. Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot. 9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger. 10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table. 11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..." 12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra. 13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?" 14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers. 15. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM." 16. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever." 17. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs." Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com