The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Mon, 10 Jan 2000 16:30:45 +0000
Hiya Loonies...
We've had the 'Cold is Relative' table before, but here it is with a new
twist - it's for Canadians...this one was sent in by Alan...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
COLD IS RELATIVE (IN DEGREES FAHRENHEIT)
50 above - New Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35 above - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows
down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw
on a t-shirt
15 above - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go
swimming.
Zero - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have
the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.
20 below - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians wear a light
jacket.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
60 below - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian girl scouts begin selling
cookies door to door.
80 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic. Canadian boy
scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down
their ear flaps.
173 below - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they
can't thaw their kegs.
297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows
complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - All atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold'nuff
for ya?"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley cup.
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