In the Movies...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Mon, 6 Dec 1999 17:49:46 +0000


Hiya Loonies...

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We've learned plenty of things from the movies before, but this list
includes some new ones...it comes from Guy...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


The things you learn from TV & Movies:

1.  Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the 
price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.

2.  One of a pair of identical twins is always born evil.

3  Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.  
You will always choose the right one.

4.  Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society. Interestingly,  
alien computers seem to be IBM compatible, but the "good guys" almost 
always have Macs.

5.  It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
knocked out their predecessors.

6.  When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7.  If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world
expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8.  Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
 
9.  During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a
strip club at least once.

10.  All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the
armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside
her.

11.  All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
bread.

12.  It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.

13.  Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
 
14.  In war it is impossible to die unless you make the mistake of
showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
 
15.  Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian
officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or 
Russian accent will do.

16.  The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
 
17.  A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18.  If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
before long.

19.  If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

20.  Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: Enter Password Now.

21.  Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.

22.  All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23.  A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

24.  If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet
will know all the steps.

25.  Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
opposite.

26.  When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
to each other in English.


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