The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 20 Aug 1999 18:43:06 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Folks...
Here's some more ammunition in the battle of the sexes...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why are Laundromats a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be
able to support you.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the stove.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna
want to shoot it...
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt
her...
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced...
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%... Wedding cake...
Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and
suffering...
The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has
rested...
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks...
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law...
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son...
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
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