Klingon Programmers...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Tue, 3 Aug 1999 01:52:44 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

What would Klingon programmers be like...???...this one might give us a
clue...sent in by Rob...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
 
12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
 
11) "This machine is a piece of GAKH! I need dual Pentium processors if 
    I am to do battle with this code!"
 
10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the 
    original Klingon."
 
 9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your 
    skull!"
 
 8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 
    'releases'. Our software *escapes* leaving a bloody trail of 
    designers and quality assurance people in its wake."
 
 7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 
    'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
 
 6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
    weak."
 
 5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
    contest. They will not concern us again."
 
 4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
 
 3) "By filing this SPR you have challenged the honour of my family. 
    Prepare to die!"
 
 2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
    stand!"
 
 1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! 
    Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!" 


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