The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Mon, 2 Aug 1999 21:12:21 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Loonies...
This one is very American, but I suspect that people from all over the
world will be able to relate to at least a small part of it...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
I am a child of the 70's and 80's. That is what I prefer to be called.
The 90's can do without me. Grunge isn't here to stay, fashion is fickle
and "Generation X" is a myth created by some over-40 writer trying to
figure out why people wear flannel in the summer.
When I got home from school, I played Atari 2600. I spent hours playing
Pitfall or Combat or Breakout or Dodge'em Cars or Frogger. I never did
beat Asteroids.
Then I watched "Scooby Doo." Daphne was a Goddess, and I thought Shaggy
was smoking something synthetic in the back of the Mystery Machine. I
HATED SCRAPPY.
I would sleep over at friends' houses on the weekends. We played army
with G.I. Joe figures, and I set up galactic wars between Autobots and
Decepticons.
We never beat Rubik's cube, unless you count taking off the stickers.
I got up on Saturday mornings at 6 a.m. to watch bad Hanna-Barbera
cartoons like 'Captain Caveman' and 'SpaceGhost'. In between, I would
watch 'Schoolhouse Rock' ("Conjunction junction, what's your function?")
On Friday night, Daisy Duke was my future wife. I was going to own the
General Lee and shoot dynamite arrows out the back. Why did they weld
the doors shut?
Did your dad turn from mild-mannered Bill Bixby into 'The Incredible
Hulk' when he got upset?
At the movies the Nerds got revenge on the AlphaBetas by teaming up with
the Omega Mu's. I watched Indiana Jones save the Ark of the Covenant,
and wondered what Yoda meant when he said, "No, there is another."
Ronald Reagan was cool.
My family took summer vacations to South Florida and collected 'Muppet
Movie' glasses along the way (we had the whole set). At the hotel we
found creative uses for Connect Four pieces, like throwing them in that
big air conditioning unit.
I listened to John Cougar Mellencamp sing about Little Pink Houses for
Jack and Diane. I was bewildered by Boy George and the colors of his
dreams, red, gold and green. I was a 'Wild Boy', Duran Duran. MTV played
MUSIC videos. Nickelodeon played 'You can't do that on Television' and
'Dangermouse'. Does anyone remember the 'Banana Splits'?
I drank Dr. Pepper. "I'm a Pepper, you're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to
be a Pepper too?" Shasta was for losers. TAB was a laboratory accident.
Capri Sun was a social statement. Orange Juice wasn't just for breakfast
anymore.
My mom put a thousand Little Debbie Snack Cakes in my Charlie Brown
lunchbox and filled my Snoopy Thermos with Grape Kool-Aid. I got two
thousand cheese and cracker snack packs.
I went to school and had recess. I went to the same classes everyday.
Some weird guy from the 8th grade always won the science fair with the
working hydro-electric plant that leaked on my project about music and
plants. Field day was bigger than Christmas, but it always seemed to
rain just enough to make everybody miserable.
Rubber band fights were cool. A substitute teacher was a marked woman.
Nobody deserved that. I went to Cub Scouts. I got my arrow-of-light, but
never managed to win the Pinewood Derby. I got almost every skill award
but don't remember ever doing anything.
The world stopped when the Challenger exploded.
Half of your friend's parents got divorced.
People did not just say "no" to drugs. AIDS started, but you knew more
people who had a grandparent die from cancer. Somebody in your school
died before they graduated.
We are the ones who played with Lego building blocks when they were just
building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety scissors
that never really cut.
Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were the way to go, and sidewalk
chalk was all you needed to build a city. Imagination was the key. It
made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for you to be Luke. And the kitchen
table and that old sheet dark enough to be a tent in the forest. Your
world was the backyard and it was all you needed.
With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back up to you
and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove like
Michael Jackson's.
Today, we are the ones who sing along with Bruce Springsteen and The
Bangles perfectly and have no idea why. We recite lines with
Ghostbusters and still look to the Goonies for a great adventure. We
flip through T.V. stations and stop at the A-Team and Knight Rider and
Fame, and laugh with The Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky Brewster
and "What you talkin' bout Willis?"
We hold strong affections for The Muppets and why did they take the
Smurfs off the air? After school specials were about cigarettes and
step-families.
The Polka Dot Door was nothing like Barney, and aren't the Power Rangers
just Voltron reincarnated? We are the ones who read Nancy Drew, The
Hardy Boys, The Bobbsey Twins, Beverly Cleary, and Judy Blume.
Friendship bracelets were ties you couldn't break and friendship pins
went on shoes - preferably hightop velcro Reebok. And pegged jeans were
in, as were unit belts and layered socks and jean jackets and JAMS and
charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails.
Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with colored rubberbands made you
rad. The backdoor was always open and Mom served only red Kool-Aid to
the neighborhood kids. You NEVER drank the New Coke.
Entertainment was cheap and lasted for hours. All you needed to be a
princess was high heels and an apron; the Sit'n'Spin always made you
dizzy but never made you stop; Pogoballs were dangerous weapons and
Chinese Jump Ropes never failed to trip someone.
In your 'underoos' you were Wonder Woman, Spider Man or Robin and in
your treehouse you were king. Star Wars was not only a movie. Did you
ever play in a bomb shelter? We didn't start the fire, Billy Joel.
We had neighborhoods where in the day we could play kick-the-can, 'guns'
and all of the things that made us Grow Up. There was always that one
field that could be used for either baseball, football, homerun derby,
or just a place to hang out. That was my field of dreams, Mr. Costner.
At night we would play flashlight tag.
Just like we could trick-or-treat at night without the fear of being
shot and killed. Just like our guns had caps or 'lasers'. If we didn't
have the Jessie James guns we could just get a rock and smash the caps
on the ground! We loved those orange race tracks...that was until our
mother realized she could smack us with them.
We too collected football and baseball cards but it was because we
wanted to be the first in the neighborhood to have the 'complete' set.
In our neighborhoods we played with He-man and Skeletor. Going to get a
Happy Meal on Saturday with dad or mom was worth waiting the other six
days of the week. No, we are the furthest thing from a lost generation.
Does going to arcades on Saturday, getting carpooled to football with
your best friend, eating fruit roll-ups, having birthday parties at
McDonalds, Chuck-E-Cheese's, Godfather's pizza or Noble Romans where you
could make your own pizza, express that you are lost?
How many people melted their army figures that were given to them by
their parents?
Was Green Latern the Coolest Super Hero or Aquaman? "Wonder twin
powers activate!"
How's about coming home at night and separating your Halloween candy
into: The cool stuff, the homemade stuff, and the pennies... how's about
the candy that came in that awful orange and black wax paper? Did you
ever try it? Do you remember the one house that had a sign in the candy
bowl that said, "Take One." How many did you take if you liked it? Were
you desperate one year and as a teenager you trick-or-treated?
Our generation had character and heart. We played with real baseballs
and "Putt putt for the fun-of-it". "Hey, my mom will take us if your
mom picks up!" Could you ever really beat Indiana Jones and the Temple
of Doom...? Did you have sliced oranges or grapes for your half-time
treat? How about the hot dog and coke after each football and baseball
games? Star Crunches? Whippy Dip? Twinkies? Ho-ho's? This is what WE are
all about!
When you put all this stuff together, you have my childhood. If this
stuff sounds familiar, then I bet you are one, too. We are the children
of the "80's". That is what I prefer they call us. We are not the first
'lost generation' nor today's lost generation. In fact, we think we know
just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.
So if you are reading this and it ALL hit's home then you do indeed have
a heritage or a generation. This is what makes us the most unique
generation of all. Please pass this on to all who can relate to it.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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