The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Wed, 28 Jul 1999 23:10:08 +0100
Hiya All...
Here are some wicked ones...not for the easily offended...you have been
warned...!!!
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
What did the gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
What is the difference between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with
everybody at the party except you.
What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know she'll swallow.
Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same
day in Iraq?
They don't want to wear out the camel.
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Do you know why women fake orgasm?
Because men fake foreplay.
What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!
What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Cough, gag, choke, etc.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
What has lots of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo!
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
What's the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a 'quickie,' only you do it yourself.
How does every ethnic joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
The tongue's still in the envelope.
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
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