The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 30 Mar 1999 03:52:42 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya Loonies... For all of you considering the joys of children...think again... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Truths About Parenting ---------------------- - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A child will not spill on a dirty floor. - A young child is a noise with dirt on it. - A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires. - An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. - Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children. - Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home. - Celibacy is not hereditary. - Familiarity breeds children. - For adult education, nothing beats children. - God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once. - God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once. - Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. - Having children will turn you into your parents. - If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment. - If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. - Ill-bred children always display their pest manners. - Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids. - It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father. - It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents. - Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. - Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many. - You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have. - Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. - The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it - There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going. - Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one. - The best thing to spend on your children is time. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/