Allegedly True Stories...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Tue, 23 Mar 1999 03:04:52 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

Here are some reasons why certain people shouldn't be allowed to
travel...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
***                                                 ***
***      Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/      ***
***                                                 ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


The following are allegedly true stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seat on the plane so that her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over
all the cost info, she asked: "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with: "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response =
'click'.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-
view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in
the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the
map and Florida is a very thin state. "

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" 
I said, "No."  
He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour stay-over in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to
save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the
plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" 
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is
FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane to get on?" 
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."

"A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." 
I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. 
She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one
of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express. "

A woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York." 
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said: "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a
Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Discussing a colleague who was flying to Australia for a holiday, a
woman in my brother's office said *she* would never be able to go on a
flight like that because she wouldn't have a clue which stop to get
off at.

A few years ago there was an early docu-soap about Gatwick Airport.  I
didn't see it, but I remember reading one of the stories - that an old
lady had called the airport after booking her flight to see if it was
possible to reserve a seat, just in case there were a lot of people on
the flight, because she didn't think she'd be able to stand up all the
way to New York.



Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*********************************************************
     This joke and others like it, can be found in:
                     The Loony Bin
              http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*********************************************************


______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com
Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/