The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Mon, 15 Mar 1999 04:13:20 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya Folks...
Introducing the Pentium III chip...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
The Top 14 Features of the Pentium III Chip
14. Automatically removes copyright notices from humour lists.
13. Minesweeper now runs really, really, *really* fast.
12. Garanteed 100% Mathomaticly Ackurat
11. Far superior to its brothers, Pentium III Mike and Pentium III
Ernie.
10. Goes great with Pentium III salsa!
9. Converts your 3-month-old, $2000 computer into a handy boat anchor.
8. In benchmark tests against other chips, it consistently delivered
vastly higher prices.
7. First processor to be made entirely out of Havarti cheese and
raisins.
6. Now Featuring, "Good ol' Vulcan Logic"
5. Like all Pentiums, it provides its own fireworks at midnight,
January 31, 1999.
4. In anticipation of Y10K, all years are stored as Roman numerals.
3. Secretly monitors the Internet for new porn sites, which are then
automatically added to the President's bookmark file.
2. Runs at a blazing 600 EthelMertz per second!
and the number 1 Feature of the Pentium III Chip...
1. Allows net geeks to go twice as long without human contact.
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