A Week at the Helpdesk [pt2]...

The Loony Bin ( andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
20 Mar 1998 01:25:00 -0000


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Hiya Folks...

Here is the second part of the saga from the Helpdesk...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
	xx

*******************************************************
*******************************************************
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Thursday
8:00am
    New guy (Marvin) started today. "Nice plaids" I offer. Show 
    him Server room, wiring closet, and technical library. Set 
    him up with IBM PC-XT. Tell him to quit whining, Notes runs 
    the same in both monochrome and color.

8:45am
    New guy's PC finishes booting up. Tell him I'll create new 
    ID for him. Set minimum password length to 64. Go grab 
    smoke.

9:30am
    Introduce Louie the custodian to Marvin. Nice plaids Louie
    comments. Is this guy great or what?!

11:00am
    Beat Louie in dominos game. Louie leaves. Fish spare dominos 
    out of sleeves (Always have backups). User calls, says 
    Accounting server is down. Untie Ethernet cable from radio 
    antenna (better reception) and plug back into hub. Tell 
    user to try again. Another happy customer!

11:55am
    Brief Marvin on Corporate Policy 98.022.01:  Whereas all new
    employees beginning on days ending in 'Y' shall enjoy all 
    proper aspects with said corporation, said employee is 
    obligated to provide substance and relief to senior 
    technical analyst on shift.
    Marvin doubts. I point to Corporate Policy database (a fine 
    piece of work, if I say so myself!). Remember, that's DOUBLE 
    pepperoni and NO peppers! I yell to Marvin as he steps over 
    open floor tile to get to exit door.

1:00pm
    Oooooh! Pizza makes me so sleepy...

4:30pm
    Wake from refreshing nap. Catch Marvin scanning want ads.

5:00pm
    Shift change. Flick HR's server off and on several times 
    (just testing the On/Off button...). See ya tomorrow.

Friday
8:00am
    Night shift still trying to replace power supply in HR 
    server. Told them it worked fine before I left.

9:00am
    Marvin still not here. Decide I might start answering these 
    calls myself. Unforward phones from Mailroom.

9:02am
    Yep. A user call. Users in Des Moines can't replicate. Me 
    and the Oiuji board determine it's sunspots. Tell them to 
    call telecommunications.

9:30am
    Good God, another user! They're like ants. Says he's in San 
    Diego and can't replicate with Des Moines. Tell him it's 
    sunspots, but with a two-hour difference. Suggest he reset 
    the time on the server back two hours.

10:17am
    Pensacola calls. Says they can't route mail to San Diego. 
    Tell them to set server ahead three hours.

11:00am
    E-mail from corporate says for everybody to quit resetting 
    the time on their servers. I change the date stamp and 
    forward it to Milwaukee.

11:20am
    Finish @CoffeeMake macro. Put phone back on hook.

11:23am
    Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is.

11:25am
    Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. So 
    hard to get good help... I respond. Support manager says he 
    has appointment with orthopedic doctor this afternoon, and 
    asks if I mind sitting in on the weekly department head 
    meeting for him. No problem!

11:30am
    Call Louie and tell him opportunity knocks and he's invited 
    to a meeting this afternoon. Yeah, sure. You can bring your 
    snuff I tell him.

12:00am
    Lunch.

1:00pm
    Start full backups on UNIX server. Route them to device NULL 
    to make them fast.

1:03pm
    Full weekly backups done. Man, I love modern technology!

2:30pm
    Look in support manager's contact management database. 
    Cancel 2:45pm appointment for him. He really should be at 
    home resting, you know.

2:39pm
    New user calls. Says want to learn how to create a 
    connection document. Tell them to run connection document 
    utility CTRL-ALT-DEL. Says PC rebooted. Tell them to call 
    microsupport.

2:50pm
    Support manager calls to say mixup at doctor's office means
    appointment cancelled. Says he's just going to go on home. 
    Ask him if he's seen corporate Web page lately.

3:00pm
    Another (novice) user calls. Says periodic macro not 
    working. Suggest they place @DeleteDocument at end of 
    formula. Promise to send them document addendum which says 
    so.

4:00pm
    Finish changing foreground color in all documents to white. 
    Also set point size to 2 in help databases.

4:30pm
    User calls to say they can't see anything in documents. Tell 
    them to go to view, do a Edit -- Select All, hit delete key, 
    and then refresh. Promise to send them document addendum 
    which says so.

4:45pm
    Another user calls. Says they can't read help documents. 
    Tell them I'll fix it. Hang up. Change font to Wingdings.

4:58pm
    Plug coffee maker into Ethernet hub to see what happens. Not 
    (too) much.

5:00pm
    Night shift shows up. Tell that the hub is acting funny and 
    to have a good weekend. Cheers

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