The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 27 Aug 1997 01:43:32 +0100
Hiya People...
Americans have a Bill of Rights which tells them what they are entitled
to...here's the bill that tells them what they are not entitled to...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
BILL OF NO RIGHTS
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblence of justice, avoid any more riots,
keep our nation safe, promote posititive behavior and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-
great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish
some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiney, guilt-ridden,
delusional and other liberal commie pinko bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self evident, that a whole lot of people
were confused by the Bill of Rights, and are so dim that they require a
Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, a big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but
no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based
on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You
may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.,
but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, and do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives independently
wealthy.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the
most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need,
but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but
from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public
health care.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if
the rest of us get together and kill you.
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place
where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life
of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives
in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if
you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do
not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have
one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to
take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to pursue happiness - which, by the way, is a lot
easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Author(s) Unknown