The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 25 Jun 1997 21:40:22 +0100
Hiya People...
Here is a guide to cyberspeak for chat room addicts...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
There is that percentage of the on-line population of the United States
who are known to frequent the cyber-world phenomenon known as the "chat
room". These people no doubt are aware of various acronyms and
descriptions which are commonly used in such venue's, but may not be
aware of the real meaning of some of the phrases which they read and/or
write on a regular basis. Following is an interpretive expose on what
some of this "chat" actually means:
***CYBERSPEAK IN 12 EASY LESSONS***
Weights and Measures (Male Gender)
----------------------------------
Cyberspeak Conversion Table
"10 inches" The length of a #2 pencil
"very thick" The width of a #2 pencil
"tall" Able to go on the big rides at Disneyland
Weights and Measures (Female Gender)
------------------------------------
Cyberspeak Conversion Table
"weight" Add a small beagle (i.e. 120 lbs. = 150 lbs.)
"bustline" Deflate for 5 seconds (i.e. 40D = 32B)
"shoe size" Add room for toes (i.e. 7 1/2 = 10)
Descriptive (Male Gender)
-------------------------
Cyberspeak Translation
"attractive" Does not induce immediate vomiting or spontaneous
internal combustion
"masculine" Can grow a better mustache than his mother
"sexy" Has a way with animals
Descriptive (Female Gender)
---------------------------
Cyberspeak Translation
"attractive" Has been hit on by an adult male with less than 20%
blood alcohol level (excluding relatives, lighting
required)
"feminine" Does not chew plug tobacco or consider bathing to be
"sissy stuff"
"sexy" Can legally belly dance without liability insurance
CYBERSPEAK STANDARD DIALECT
Intellectual Measurement Translations
-------------------------------------
"genius" Agrees with you
"160 IQ" Once outwitted a cocker spaniel
"moron" Disagrees with you
"idiot" Was outwitted by you
Common Acronym Translations
---------------------------
"brb" My mother is in the room
"rofl" Rolling on the floor with Lassie
"lol" Luvin' on Lassie
"roflmao" Lassie and I have decided to get married
Heckler Subdialect Translations
-------------------------------
"check your Terms of Service (TOS)" I want my mommy
"if you don't like it here, leave" I want my mommy
"(yawn)" My brain needs more oxygen, as usual
"heckler of the day" The one who laughs most at your jokes
"cyberbrawl" Twenty HEK's alone in a room, late at night