Usenet...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 15 Dec 1996 18:18:17 +0000


Hiya Folks...

Here's a definition of some readers of news...I come in part way through
'Hacker' I think...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>***
***                                                 ***
***                 THE LOONY BIN                   ***
***           loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk          ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
***                                                 ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

BEGINNER:

- Thinks rn is a typo. 
- Posts empty articles. 
- Wonders what `@' means. 
- Accidently sends (empty) mail messages to other readers. 

NOVICE:

- Knows how to read news, but seldom does, since s/he hasn't 
  learned how to (un)subscribe to a subject. 
- Posts the programmer-lightbulb joke to soc.women. 
- Tries to post his/her KILL files. 
- Posts articles asking what `:-)' means, and misspells it. 
- Wonders why people go to all the trouble of typing in other people's 
  articles with all those silly ">"s. 

USER:

- Knows how to post followups, but uses ed to do so. 
- Posts articles asking what `SO', `BTW', and `MOTOS' mean. 
- Has heard of KILL files, but doesn't know what they are. 
- Has worn out the `n' key. 
- Still reads rec.humor 

KNOWLEDGEABLE USER:

- Knows about .signature files, but sometimes includes them twice. 
- Posts flames to net.announce.newusers. 
- Uses KILL files, but only on "Subject:" lines. 
- Has learned to edit the "followups to:" line. 
- Can save a rot13'd joke, and read it later. 

EXPERT:

- Knows how to post anonymously, from nonexistent sites. 
- Posts flames about users of "notes." 
- Has 0.1 megabytes of KILL files, and 5 megabytes of mail. 
- Is known by name at virtually all news sites. 
- Knows how to post rot13'd jokes, and can read them without 
  saving and exiting. 

HACKER:

- Knows how to create new newsgroups. 
- Has modified local version of vnews to allow longer postings. 
- Uses rmgroup instead of KILL files. 
- Knows how to send mail through the ARPANET. 
- Can read rot13'd text without unrotating it. 


GURU:

- Has private database of alternate paths to all sites. 
- Has caused at least one newsgroup to be eliminated due to low 
  signal/noise. 
- Name appears in over 1000 KILL files (at other sites). 
- Uses undocumented features of rn. 
- Moderates at least one newsgroup. 

WIZARD:

- Thinks rn is a typo.