The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 24 Nov 1996 18:01:13 +0000
Hiya Folks...
Here's why Star Wars is better than sex...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
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------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
REASONS WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1. In real life, sometimes people are not in the mood;
In Star Wars, anyone can get a long light saber up in the blink of
an eye.
2. In real life, sex with animals and creatures will send you to jail;
In Star Wars, you can do a Wookiee one night, a Princess the next,
and have intercourse with creatures named "Hammerhead", "Greedo",
and if you're alone, "Han(d) Solo".
3. In real life, sex is often a long, boring and slow process;
In Star Wars, you can do it at the speed of light.
4. In real life, sex can be the same old thing with normal people;
In Star Wars, sex with Darth Vader involves masks, a black cape,
oxygen tanks, machinery, and a vengeant attitude.
5. In real life, sometimes there's not enough genital pressure;
In Star Wars, one can produce mind-bending passionate orgasms by
using, "The Force."
6. In real life, sex sometimes occurs in the cramped backseat of a
car;
In Star Wars, you can screw in style aboard any number of spacious
interplanetary vehicles.
7. In real life, people sometimes get pregnant, or sick from sexual
acts;
In Star Wars, well.... it's just a movie.
8. In real life, sex often only occurs for a few hours at best;
In Star Wars, no one keeps time or wears watches.
9. In real life, some people are just plain ugly, finding sex hard to
find;
In Star Wars, ANYONE looks attractive standing next to Jabba the
Hutt.
10. In real life, breaking up with an old partner is difficult at best;
In Star Wars, you either dump them in an the middle of an asteroid
field, or just avoid that part of the galaxy.