Laws...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 20 Nov 1996 15:20:09 +0000


Hiya Folks...

Here are some new driving laws...written to take into account current
driving habits in North Carolina...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

     
The following is a summary of the new driving laws to be implemented
immediately in the state of North Carolina:

-Passing is only allowed in the right lane

-When driving in the left lane, you must keep pace with the car in the  
 right lane.

-When you are confused, stop.

-Directionals are forbidden except when cruising in the left lane of a
 major highway.

-Changing lanes from the left driving lane to a left turn lane is only
 permitted a maximum of 10 feet from the intersection and/or when
 another vehicle is almost there, and there is just enough space for
 you to squeeze in.

-If you are not sure where you are, stop.

-When driving on a double yellow road without a passing lane, you must
 go at least 15 miles/hour under the speed limit.

-It is now permitted to make a right turn from the left lane without
 any notice or warning.

-If someone is trying to turn on to a road that you are driving on,
 you must go fast enough to get in the way and slow enough to allow the
 traffic behind you to do the same.

-When looking for something, stop.

-Never accelerate

-If your car is REALLY big (i.e. Buick Century, Chrysler New Yorker,
 any Cadillac or Lincoln or if your hair is blue) 6 mph is the maximum
 you may drive.

-Brakeing at every intersection is not only safe for the imaginary
 animals crossing the street, but a great idea!

-For no reason, stop.

-Never signal or give an indication of your next move, its a jungle
 out there and god forbid you let your strategy out.

-Always cut off trucks and semis, they can stop on a dime.

-When using the beltline, you must break down and leave your car on
 the off ramp (preferably blocking traffic).

-All major roadways are perfectly good parking lots.(e.g. Hillsborough
 street)

-When pulled over by a member of our brave, fearless and dedicated law
 enforcement agency, you must stop in the middle of traffic. Don't
 forget your hazards, its the all encompassing excuse.

-If its tuesday, stop.

-If you need a drivers license, do not wait in line at the DMV, do
 what everyone else here does and get it in the bottom of a Fruit Loops
 box.

Joke written by jleconte@mailgate.seer.com