Perspective - Dear Mother and Dad...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sat, 10 Aug 1996 08:25:03 +0100


Hiya Folks...

Here's a letter from a girl to her parents that seems to put everything
in perspective...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


Dear Mother and Dad,

        Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing and I am
sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before.  I will bring
you up to date now, but before you read on , please sit down.  You are
not to read any further unless you are sitting down.  Okay?

        Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now.  The skull
fracture and concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my
dormitory when it caught on fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty
well healed now.  I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I see
almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.  

        Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory, and my jump, was
witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was
the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance.  

        He also visited me in the hospital and since I had nowhere to
live because of the burnt-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me
to share his apartment with him.  It's really a basement room, but it's
kind of cute.

        He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are
planning to get married.  We haven't got the exact date yet, but it will
before my pregnancy begins to show.

        Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant.  I know how much you are
looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the
baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me
when I was a child.  

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boy friend has a
minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood
tests and I carelessly caught it from him.

        I know that you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and, although not well educated, he is ambitious.  Although
he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often-
expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.

        Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that
there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull
fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not
engaged, I am not infected, and there is no boy friend in my life.  

        However, I am getting a D in History and F in Science and I want
you to see those marks in their perspective.

Your loving daughter,
Susie.