The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 16 Jul 1996 08:02:28 +0100
Hiya Folks...
Here are some out-takes from the Wizard of Oz...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
SCENES THAT WERE CUT FROM THE " Wizard of Oz"
DOROTHY : I don't think we are in Kansas anymore Toto.
TOTO : I don't care bitch! Put me on the ground so I can
hump your leg.
SCARECROW: No, indeed. I don't know anything. You see, I am
stuffed, so I have no brains at all.
DOROTHY : Oh I'm awfully sorry for you. Have you thought of
running for political office? I hear Bob Dole is
looking for a running mate and he is from Kansas.
MAYOR OF MUNCHKINLAND: You are welcome, most noble Sorceress,
to the land of the Munchkins. We are so grateful to
you for having killed the Wicked Witch of the East,
and for setting our people free from bondage. How
can we possibly repay this great debt?
DOROTHY : You are kinda cute. Since you are down there already
how about licking me till I squeal.
TINMAN : Do you suppose Oz could give me a heart?
DOROTHY : I don't see why not it would be as easy as giving
the Scarecrow brains. But you have a bigger problem
than no heart. You have no genitalia. I guess I
could sit on your pointed hat and have the Scarecrow
spin me around in a circle. It could be fun.
COWARDLY LION: Do you think Oz could give me courage?
SCARECROW: Just as easily as he could give me brains.
TINMAN : Or give me a heart.
DOROTHY : Or send me back to Kansas.
COWARDLY LION: Do you think the Great Oz could give me a Zebra burger?
Being a coward I am scared of Zebras and I don't eat too
well.
<Dorothy wakes up back in Kansas>
DOROTHY : Auntie Em! I'm back home! You won't believe it but I
have been over the rainbow, to the land of Munchkins,
and then to the Emerald City to see the Great Wizard,
and I had to kill the Wicked Witch of the West by
throwing water on her, and Glinda, the Good Witch of
the North gave me the Ruby Slippers and told me to
click my heals together three times and say 'There's
no place like home...'
AUNTIE EM: Henry, I told you we shouldn't let that girl go picking
mushrooms in the woods by herself--she got the wrong
ones again.