The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Mon, 15 Jul 1996 03:25:47 +0100
Hiya People...
Do *you* believe in witches...???
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
There's an Insurance Executive who has been stealing great sums of
money from the company, cheating on his wife and has a gambling debt
with the mafia.
He just found out the comptroller has discovered his theft, his wife
found his little black book, and Carlo Gambino gave him a little peck
on the cheek.
He decides the easy way out is to jump off the George Washington bridge
and end it all.
Just as he's ready to jump the ugliest women in all of NY state comes
up behind him and says "Wait, don't jump. I'm a witch and I can help
you."
He's so grossed out by her face that he says, "Oh, no. I can't stand to
look at you, I'd rather jump."
She says, "Don't be ridiculous. I can wave my hand in the air and solve
any problem. Just try me."
She sounds pretty convincing, so he figures, what the heck.
So he says, "Okay. I stole $250,000.00 from the company. They know. I
spent it on six different ladies of the evening, and my wife found out.
I lost the rest, and $125,000.00 more, gambling in the back room of a
bar in Brooklyn. I haven't got the dough to pay the mob. They're gonna
cut off my head, for sure."
She closes her eyes, waves her hands in the air and says..."At this very
moment, your CEO has just discovered a portfolio in your desk proving
that you invested the money in stocks in the company name and made them
$9,000,000.00. He's going to promote you to VP! He's calling your wife
and asking if he can please have HIS little black book back, and the
Capo di Tutti Capi is going to declare you a "made member." You will
have the respect of every mobster and hood in the city.
The guys is flabbergasted. "You did that for me? Why I'm so grateful.
What can I ever do to repay you? I'll do anything."
She says, "Well, I know I'm kinda ugly, being a witch and all, will you
make love to me?"
He says, "Oh, no. You're too ugly. I could never do that."
But she tells him again about how she has saved his life and so he
agrees.
He gives it his best. Kisses and all.
Afterwards, she says to him, "By the by, how old are you?" He says
"32".
She says, "32? and you still believe in witches?"