The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 18 Jun 1996 08:03:36 +0100
Hiya People... Here's a letter of appeal from the Bill Clinton Statue Committee...please give generously... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Buffoon Street Little Rock, Arkansas 72205 June 14, 1996 Mr. /Ms. Clueless Clinton Supporter 666 Blindman's Bluff Road La-La Land, USA Dear Clueless: We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising five million dollars for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, DC. This committee has been in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It would not be wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jessie Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference. We finally decided to place it next to Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been and did it all on borrowed money. Over 5000 years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel. This is the Promised Land!" Now Bill Clinton is going to steal your shovel, kick your ass, raise the taxes on Camels, and mortgage the Promised Land. If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we expect a generous contribution to our worthwhile project. Respectfully, Bill Clinton Statue Committee P.S. It is said that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic Party emblem from a donkey to a condom because it stands for inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, halts production, and gives a false sense of security while being screwed.