The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 11 Jun 1996 08:17:14 +0100
Hiya People...
A tale full of puns for you...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
It was your BASIC day in the land of pixel. From my graphics window I
could see a low-resolution cursor high in the wrap-around sky. But my
workspace stack had overflowed and there were no buffers available. You
know the subroutine.
Besides, my motherboard had deleted this PC-junior and wanted to boot me
out.
I needed to ESCape from my dataBase. So I packed some line feed, an
Apple, and a switchbox of serial ports and my mouse and I took my
*car*tridge -- my only modem of transportation -- for a disk drive
around the data block. We were up to 1900 baud when I had to swerve to
avoid hitting a bus. I lost CONTROL and crashed.
We RAMed into a type mismatch. I PEEKed and POKED under the interface,
but my search engine had a fatal system error. I had backspaced over
all memory of what had happened earlier that data. There was no RETURN
and no way to save the game.
That's when I saw the foot printouts that I TRACEd to the highest
resolution shape table I had set my I/O's on. She was a hand-held
laptop model, softwearing a polka dot-matrix spreadsheet that displayed
her scanlines. And I didn't need 3D glasses to get a load of her floppy
disks.
"I'll byte," I thought. "I'd love to run her program."
So I picked her some daisy wheels and entered, "I'm chip. What's your
filename?"
"They call me MS DOS." was her output. "I'm user-friendly, and my
address space is in the directory."
Well, we accessed each other's files. She was showing me her periferals
when she told me she belonged to a user group.
"Hey, Amiga," I said." "Stand by. I don't want any computer virus. It
could be terminal."
So I exited that playfield, because she was an 8-bit floozy with
artificial intelligence. Not my ... uhm, type.
So once again I was left to stand alone. A lost file in a
re-dimensioned array.
If your program is full of bugs, if you have too many ifs without thens,
store this data: Just press RESET.