The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Mon, 6 May 1996 12:55:01 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Here's something for those of you who have been patiently waiting for
the computing humour to come under control...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
The Rules of Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one
club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play
begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to
do so may result in being denied permission to play the course
again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take
time to admire the entire course with special attention to well
formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being
played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players'
equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
protection.
10. Players should ensure for themselves that their match has been
properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being
played for the first time. Previous players have been known to
become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they
considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course
to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will
find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush
around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment
with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before
attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course
owners request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
the same hole several times in one match.