The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sat, 30 Mar 1996 18:19:51 +0000
Hiya Folks... Something more for the chosen few... - A xx -- ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ***************************************************** **********************ANDROMEDA********************** ------- Forwarded message follows ------- >Author(s): Jeff Trim > >Picard: "Star Date 144565.09. We are in orbit around Gamma-Bingulese >VI,and we have established no contact with the civilization there.I >anxiously awaiting a script change so I can get on with this episode" > >[ Enter Wesley - wearing his usual RAINBROW BRIGHT Costume ] > >Picard: "Ensign Crusher, WHY ARE YOU ON THE BRIDGE??" > >Wesley: "...uh...I was planning on NAVIGATING the ship as ALWAYS Sir! You >know if I WAS AN ADULT you wouldn't give me this kind of trouble all the >time!!" > >Picard: "It's not because your YOUNG, it's because you behave like a 2 >year old! Act like a man and fly the ship for once!!" > >Wesley: "If you keep pushing me Picard I'm gonna pull Rank on you!" > >Picard: "HA! A little IMP like you! You couldn't pull rank on me in 20 >Billion Years!! If I could write these scripts I'd have you beamed >on to an asteroid" > >Wesley: "Okay Picard, that's it! Gene?" > >Gene: "Why, Yes Wesley!" > >Wesley: "I want you to let me run the ship for once!!" > >Gene: "Okay, let me tell script writer Bob. YO BOB!" > >Bob: "I've already got the answer to this one Gene! Ready - ACTION!!" > >Yar: "Message from Star Fleet Command! Ensign Crusher get's Immediate > Command!" > >Troi: "Oh Pain, Great Pain.." > >[ Yar is about to say something WHEN... ] > >Wesley: "DON'T SAY IT YAR! You only get one line per episode" > >Yar: "Oh yeah, I forgot about that...[ realizing her mistake ] > oops, oh well I guess I've said this weeks line!I guess I am > picking my check up at the door now. > >Gene: That's right Yar, bye now! > >Yar: "See you next week Gene!" > >Welsey: "Take Mr. Picard and his Smiling "Number One" down to security > and Book 'em!" > >Picard: [Realizing it's a choice of Fight or Surrender to the situation] >"Okay, I surrender!" > >Wesley: "I knew you would Sir, bye now!" > >Data: "What are your orders [ trying to keep from laughing ], Captain Welsey?" > >Welsey: "Oh Boy..weeeeeeee. Gee Golly this is fun! What does that button >do? I want to try the Photon Firing Controls, launch a couple of those >Gravidic Mines!" > >Worf: "Okay, I'VE HAD IT. [ Pulls out a Klingon Communicator ] Beam outta >here Krudge!" > >Krudge: "Gladly Worf! Disengage Cloaking Device!" > >[ In front of Enterprise, a Shimering Klingon Bird of Prey appears ] > >[ at that same instance, Worf Beams Away! ] > >...seconds later: Worf to Enterprise > >Riker: Worf, is that you? > >Worf: "You betcha! On this ship I get to have more lines and I don't have >to say stuff like "Oh Gee Wesley your such a GOD" It's great! Want to >switch sides? > >Riker: "SURE - count me in, anyone else?" > >Troi: [ looking at Wesley ]..uh..yeah! Get me off this rust bucket!" > >Data: "Intriging, we'd actually get more LINES! Count me in!" >Besides he took over MY NAVIGATION Station! I've wanted to get even for >20 episodes now!!" > >Picard: "You know after the 21st episode Wesley's shirt has really started >to smell. ICK, I would just leave to get away from that!" >Change your shirt for cristsake!!! Put on some deoderant!!" > >[ They beam out, leaving Wesley alone on the bridge ] > >Wesley: "Aw Gee.... [tears on his face ], WAAAAAHH." > >Gene: "Cheer up Wesley, you still have 3,100 other people to command" >Wesley: "Oh Yeah! That's Right! All Kids between the ages of 12-15 >report to the bridge!" > >And so, we leave the TNG - as it always is, with Wesley getting all the >lines and all the kids having all the fun! But isn't that what Star Trek >is all about? We don't need mature adults in space after all - Wesley can >handle it!