The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sat, 30 Mar 1996 18:19:51 +0000
Hiya Folks...
Something more for the chosen few...
- A
xx
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************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
*****************************************************
**********************ANDROMEDA**********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
>Author(s): Jeff Trim
>
>Picard: "Star Date 144565.09. We are in orbit around Gamma-Bingulese
>VI,and we have established no contact with the civilization there.I
>anxiously awaiting a script change so I can get on with this episode"
>
>[ Enter Wesley - wearing his usual RAINBROW BRIGHT Costume ]
>
>Picard: "Ensign Crusher, WHY ARE YOU ON THE BRIDGE??"
>
>Wesley: "...uh...I was planning on NAVIGATING the ship as ALWAYS Sir! You
>know if I WAS AN ADULT you wouldn't give me this kind of trouble all the
>time!!"
>
>Picard: "It's not because your YOUNG, it's because you behave like a 2
>year old! Act like a man and fly the ship for once!!"
>
>Wesley: "If you keep pushing me Picard I'm gonna pull Rank on you!"
>
>Picard: "HA! A little IMP like you! You couldn't pull rank on me in 20
>Billion Years!! If I could write these scripts I'd have you beamed
>on to an asteroid"
>
>Wesley: "Okay Picard, that's it! Gene?"
>
>Gene: "Why, Yes Wesley!"
>
>Wesley: "I want you to let me run the ship for once!!"
>
>Gene: "Okay, let me tell script writer Bob. YO BOB!"
>
>Bob: "I've already got the answer to this one Gene! Ready - ACTION!!"
>
>Yar: "Message from Star Fleet Command! Ensign Crusher get's Immediate
> Command!"
>
>Troi: "Oh Pain, Great Pain.."
>
>[ Yar is about to say something WHEN... ]
>
>Wesley: "DON'T SAY IT YAR! You only get one line per episode"
>
>Yar: "Oh yeah, I forgot about that...[ realizing her mistake ]
> oops, oh well I guess I've said this weeks line!I guess I am
> picking my check up at the door now.
>
>Gene: That's right Yar, bye now!
>
>Yar: "See you next week Gene!"
>
>Welsey: "Take Mr. Picard and his Smiling "Number One" down to security
> and Book 'em!"
>
>Picard: [Realizing it's a choice of Fight or Surrender to the situation]
>"Okay, I surrender!"
>
>Wesley: "I knew you would Sir, bye now!"
>
>Data: "What are your orders [ trying to keep from laughing ], Captain Welsey?"
>
>Welsey: "Oh Boy..weeeeeeee. Gee Golly this is fun! What does that button
>do? I want to try the Photon Firing Controls, launch a couple of those
>Gravidic Mines!"
>
>Worf: "Okay, I'VE HAD IT. [ Pulls out a Klingon Communicator ] Beam outta
>here Krudge!"
>
>Krudge: "Gladly Worf! Disengage Cloaking Device!"
>
>[ In front of Enterprise, a Shimering Klingon Bird of Prey appears ]
>
>[ at that same instance, Worf Beams Away! ]
>
>...seconds later: Worf to Enterprise
>
>Riker: Worf, is that you?
>
>Worf: "You betcha! On this ship I get to have more lines and I don't have
>to say stuff like "Oh Gee Wesley your such a GOD" It's great! Want to
>switch sides?
>
>Riker: "SURE - count me in, anyone else?"
>
>Troi: [ looking at Wesley ]..uh..yeah! Get me off this rust bucket!"
>
>Data: "Intriging, we'd actually get more LINES! Count me in!"
>Besides he took over MY NAVIGATION Station! I've wanted to get even for
>20 episodes now!!"
>
>Picard: "You know after the 21st episode Wesley's shirt has really started
>to smell. ICK, I would just leave to get away from that!"
>Change your shirt for cristsake!!! Put on some deoderant!!"
>
>[ They beam out, leaving Wesley alone on the bridge ]
>
>Wesley: "Aw Gee.... [tears on his face ], WAAAAAHH."
>
>Gene: "Cheer up Wesley, you still have 3,100 other people to command"
>Wesley: "Oh Yeah! That's Right! All Kids between the ages of 12-15
>report to the bridge!"
>
>And so, we leave the TNG - as it always is, with Wesley getting all the
>lines and all the kids having all the fun! But isn't that what Star Trek
>is all about? We don't need mature adults in space after all - Wesley can
>handle it!