Andrea J Chee
(
ajc6@ukc.ac.uk
)
Tue, 20 Feb 1996 16:41:43 +0000 (GMT)
Hiya all...
This is the last forwarded message of the day...I hope...:-)
Wishes & Dreams...
- A
xx
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 20 Feb 1996 11:06:06 +0000 (GMT)
From: Lenard.Bell <hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk>
To: andrea chee <ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>
Subject: Hi (fwd)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 1 Dec 1995 11:43:56 GMT0BST
From: Buchanan Keith R <CM-K.R.BUCHANAN@tees.ac.uk>
To: hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk
Subject: Hi
For Better Communication
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of
improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
unnecessary difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through, and
thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of change to iron
out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a
committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using
's' instead of a soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would
reseive the news with joy. Then the hard 'c' would be replased by 'k'
sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up
konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made
with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was
anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written as 'f'.
This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reash the stage where some komplikated shanges are possible.
Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horrible mes of silent 'e's in the languag
is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as
though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the
skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replasing 'th'
by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v' vitsh is,
after al half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kuld be dropd
from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls,
difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of
de guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.